Irrational Fears Build Character

Being slightly neurotic can mean being afraid of things that don't always make sense, like worms.

Yes, worms.

They're slimy and icky. And when you cut one in half it creates 2 new worms.

And it's raining! Which I love! Until I run outside in sandals and (shivers) their fleshy, eyeless bodies are squirming around. Puke.

But I love fishing! It's cathartic... and the closest I ever get to sports.

So I work around the worm thing. Mostly by being pitiful and having people bait my hook.

In Idaho, I fished with our family friend Bill on Horse Lake...on top of an inactive volcano! It's filled yearly or more with trout--over 2000 a time!

I'm sitting on one end of the dock and Bill on the other.

It's peaceful and I'm soaking in gliding ducks and breezy trees when I GET A BITE! I reel it in--NOTHING! Not even the damn worm.

Crap.

I run to Bill with begging eyes. And yes, he thinks it's weird about the worms but he baits my hook anyway. THANKS BILL!

I walk to my end of the dock--keeping the slimy little sucker far away. I plop down. My mind wanders to guns and target practice when a little tug-tug happens!

I reel that line like a PRO! And NADA--NOTHING! Not even the damn worm.

Poor Bill.

He worms me again. I dodge the dangling worm back to my end. I plop down, drop the line and before my butt finds a comfy spot another tug-tug happens! You have got to be kidding me?! I yank up the damn line AND THERE'S A FREAKING FISH ON THERE!

I squeal and jump! Reeling and swinging the fish on to the dock--oh cause I don't like touching fish either (yeah, I need help).

Bill's trying to get the trout off my line but I'm so excited and freaked that I swing the line at Bill practically fish slapping him. The stupid trout falls off the line--INTO THE WATER.

Bill worms me up again, don't ask me why, and goes back to his end of the dock.

And I sit down. Drop the line. Sink into brain hibernation. A BITE! A BIG BITE! A MONSTER--I am reeling in a monster and I can do this! Don't be A WEINER NERISSA, just REEL IT IN!

Bill runs over again ready to catch it as I'm swinging the trout like a piñata but "EEK!" the fish is too close to me. I jump back, the line jostles and "plop" goes the trout, back into the lake.

He didn't even bother to swim away. He just smiled up at me with his fishy face, mocking me!

I looked at Bill. He had no words. He turned and left me there. Deservedly so.

I quickly attached plastic bait to my line and sat on the edge of the dock quietly for the rest of the day like a good girl.

And what did I learn from all of this?

That I owe Bill a beer...or 12.